Thought of the Day: Where Can I Buy Me A David Byrne?

Posted on April 11, 2012

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Frankly, I love David Byrne so much (apart from the spelling of his name) that I don’t know whether I want to worship him, boff him or be him.

foto@archialternative.com

This is the dude – film-maker, writer, choreographer, artist, musician par excellence and cycling advocate… go take a fucking nap, David, and stop making the rest of us look like useless little shits.

As I am currently in the throes of squealy, girly love, this post is going to shamelessly chronicle my torrid (and tragically one-sided) love affair with David Byrne, and so like all steamy dreamys, I will begin from the First Meeting:

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I was Blown Away. By the lumpy shapeless grey suit, the bulging eyes, the pigeon-like head cocking and those dance moves that tell you he seriously does not give a shit. And of course – everybody now! – F-FA-FA-FA-FA-FA-FA-FA-FA-FAR BETTER is the best thing to get stuck in my brain. I clutched it to my bosom for days on end. I probably even nodded to the beat while taking a dump. I couldn’t wait to see him again.

Our second date was more sweet than mad awesome, and he revealed a reflective, introspective side that I didn’t notice during the first mind-blowing impression. The boy suddenly showed a vulnerability; a hurt; a loss. And you know what they say about men who need to be healed. WOMEN WANT TO HEAL THEM. (Women = Me)

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Those two clips, by the way, are from Stop Making Sense, a concert movie of Talking Heads shot over three nights in 1983 at Hollywood’s Pantages Theatre. Set design (check out the first vid where the technicians are setting up the stage as David Byrne opens) and choreography by David, of course. The concert movie was unusual for its genre in that it deliberately minimised the presence of the audience – barely any audience shots and applause sounds, for instance, and insisted on the performers playing to standard lamps rather than illuminating spotlights. Plus, the band raised money for the production themselves. Film critic Leonard Maltin called it “one of the greatest rock movies ever made”.

On our third date things were all fun fun fun again, but a more edgy touch, almost as if he was slightly embarrassed that I had seen his vulnerability, but also in a way glad that it was now out of the way.

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Do pay attention to the videos playing in the background.

Fourth date, we stopped doing the eternal human dance but actually just talked. He let me into his quirky, crazy world and gave me a tour. It was mesmerizing.

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This clip was from True Stories, a film about “Virgil”, an imaginary Texas town celebrating its sesquicentennial (that’s 150th) anniversary.

As we spent more and more time together, I also discovered more reasons to fall into crazy adoration of the man I was already wildly infatuated with. David told me about some awesome collaborations in his career – with Twyla Tharp in writing the score for The Catherine WheelHe also worked with Ryuchi Sakamoto and Cong Su on Bertolucci’s The Last Emperor soundtrack, which is one of my feckin’ fav soundtracks ever. I never knew that he’d had a hand in it! Oh, David. Stop. Just stop.

Seriously, tell me this is not amazing:

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Musical awesomeness aside, David proved to be a real firestarter, with lots of thoughts about contemporary culture. Here he is, slapping about our vapid consumerist and mass-production tendencies:

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Did someone forget to name that the best vid of the mega-century, or something?

But of course David’s not content to just mv it; these days, the man also wields a mighty pen. He keeps an awesome, regularly updated journal too. Check out the Amazon and Apple-kicking post. The man tends to be on the verbose side, but what do we care.

Alas, this online journal is the only way I have to keep track of David’s doings and whereabouts nowadays. It never was meant to be between us. (Let’s ignore the fact that it never was, period.) Naturally, Mr Byrne has fallen in love with someone equally deserving. The wonderful artist Cindy Sherman, one of the first, boldest American contemporary artists whose persona-altering works highlighted our collective search for identity and the influence of popular media. Her style has since been endlessly aped by younger artists, such that – I think – the “multi-role self-model” has almost become an artistic trope now. Here she is being very fondly remembered at the MoMA. In short, therefore, I love David all the more because his partner is so awesome.

David himself is no art-slob, by the way. Check out his satiristic-art-meets-design works on his websiteMoral Dilemmas is great.

At this point I realise I could be wallowing in more David Byrne awesomeness instead of blathering about it, so I will leave you with one parting thought and one more video. The thought is this – someone needs to bottle or can this awesome-sauce and sell it. The video is a recent live performance of one of my fav Talking Heads songs, “And She Was”. David’s voice aged really well. Enjoy.

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Ciao for now, until the universe sends someone new for me to gush over like a hormone-laden schoolgirl.