Song of the Day: China Survival Guide – Mourning for the one you don’t love

Posted on March 21, 2012


Yous gonna have shite day. Tis in de stars. foto@me

So, yes, today I got the ole music player nicked. Only that it wasn’t actually old. It was fucking new, new to the tune of 3 weeks or so. My old music player was a tiny little mp3 player that stoically endured hiking trips, 3 marathons, 2 half-marathons, swimming pools, countless gym/ run sessions and then some. I would have loved it forever, but it left me first. And so I set my sights on a snazzier, younger, more expensive babe.

This was what brought me together with my iTouch. It was the latest model, it had a sleek shape, hot-pink cover, tons of fun apps, sexy-as-shit functions. But it wasn’t Ye Olde Brandless Mp3. I liked it, I thought it was super hot, but I didn’t love it the way I loved YOBM. That was centre-of-the-heart love. That will always be the one that got away.

But still, I was starting to get very fond of Hot Pink. I enjoyed writing essays on her. I was pleased with my yoga, Today in History and wine-choosing apps. I fastidiously organised my songs into carefully (anally)-thought-out playlists. I thought initally I would just use her for a few cheap lays – I mean, c’mon, everyone‘s done her, how can she be special? – but I was slowly and inexorably beginning to realise that Hot Pink could actually play a very big role in my life.

Up till today, 21 March, 6.08pm. West Nanjing Metro Stop.

It all happened in a split second. I felt the yank, I turned, I vaguely saw that someone was pushing his/ her way out of the train, the train doors closed, and Hot Pink was gone in not even 60 seconds. Everyone’s done her, everyone’s still doing her, that little slut. She couldn’t even stay for dinner. Still, it hurt to a surprisingly substantial degree. I know I didn’t love her – I can’t love her – but then why did I stop in the middle of the station gulping for breath?

Still, one has to move on. To speed my healing process, I turn to Aerosmith.



Now, my choice of therapy might seem weird, but let me explain. First, the song is clearly NOT about iTouchs. Yeah, got you there huh? There’s the scary question “what did her Daddy do?” which doesn’t need further elaboration. So I think my problem pales in comparison. If you want to feel better, think of someone who’s had it way more shit.

Next, without a music player of any sort, you gotta be careful what you listen to cos the last song you imbibe is gonna stay in your fucking brain forever and ever and ever and then some. CHOOSE WISELY. Janie’s Got A Gun, and it also has a simple, non-obtrusive melody (the narrative carries the song, rather), it’s got a slowish, interesting beat, it’s got loud and soft parts. If you go for rip-your-throat-out metal, you will be banging your head on the nearest flat surface within the hour. Weepy tunes will make you moody and maudlin. Adrenalin-pumping beats will make you kill someone. Janie is empowering. She is the fierce chick that will be more careful with her belongings in future, especially on rush-hour Shanghai trains.

A friend of mine sniffed when I proposed my song choice – “Ach, that’s so… cliched.”

Well, so is pickpocketing, my friend, so is pickpocketing.

(For further healing: Robert Smith to the rescue!! Awww…. The Cure indeed.)

I am plenty cheered up.

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