Song of the Day: China Survival Guide – Rule the Queue Part Finale

Posted on February 17, 2012


Ride to win! foto@me

Victory Parade, y’all! Parts 1-4 in the previous posts.


Part 5 Rollin’ in Smug:

DJ Khaled “All I Do is Win”


Duh, because asswipery is in the house. This track is actually quite fun in a I-never-got-over-my-frat-boy-years way. (Since we’re being assholes, is it just me, or are the ladies in this mv…. ummm, not so super fine? I mean as hiphop mvs go.) And look at the line-up! Ludacris, Rick Ross, Snoop Dogg, T-Pain! It’s nuts. 

To my left, the enraged Chinese family is howling at a hapless staff member. Apparently they’ve waited so long in the queue that they missed their flight. They’re screeching to see the duty manager, or whatever these people are called.

I sigh. Noobs. Amateurs.

Then I realize staff lady is speaking to me. Oh no. What? Get back in line, you turd? “Sorry midder sit own-ree.” Oh! “Yes, yes, sure. No problem.”

I pick up my boarding pass and vacate the counter space with poise and dignity, making sure to keep my smug smirk in check as I pass Potato Face. It was a mostly fair fight; it’s not nice to gloat. With a nice 35 minutes to spare, I take my winning ass off to the nearest Costa Coffee for a well-deserved restorative. 

And that concludes my Rule the Queue series. But I’m not done winning, so here’s another awesome song to smash through the finish line to. These guys are definitely not as insufferable as the boys and Khaled, but it’s a winner song nonetheless. A chilled-out, super-confident, I’m-own-it-so-bad-I-can’t-even-be-bothered-to-try old schooley winner song.